I had a pretty good time yesterday (12, 23, 2016). I have a quite a few problems but I possible don’t have to worry about dying as much so that opens up some options. I am a bit more refocused, emotionally I am now starting to mend some of the issues that have developed over time. Mostly the positive development is due to space from Micheal. Its taken a lot of time to get this space, I mean really aggressive pushes since October and nothing else just to get time to start dealing with the fatalistic issues that hvae developed since I met him.
Yesterday, I was feeling more emotionally stable, don’t know how long that will last but the orientation is good. He’s been pushing space but being there so he can work on being his own person. Decoupling and fixing the dependency, again its really helped me over the last few months work on my emotional state. Not perfect as I did damage my hand not too long ago due to the maxed out problems in a rare emotional outburst. The abnormal behavior can get pretty bad and its hard on my managing all of this all the time to the point of literally no sleep.
So that puts in context how good my day was. From the talk yesterday (with Michael) and the pushes mostly on my end and re-developing myself from top to bottom, I was able to go to Catalyst Bible study and have a solid time. Michael doing his best to interact normally which made me happy and I was able to interact as necessary and find time to go pray downstairs. Plus practice a few drawings which showed me that I probably should draw when feeling absolutely uninspired.
The best part of the night came from being able to see people I have not seen in a long time. I saw a guy at Catalyst who I missed alot, named Joshua. I have strong concern for that guy, part of the reason is because he reminds me of my cousin. He has grown a beard which is actually threw me off, because it was crazy how much he reminds of my cousin now. My cousin is like my brother to me growing up. So when I see him, I guess I some what project those feelings a bit forward. I am a family oriented guy and over protective by nature, so I do sincerely wish him the best and pray for wisdom and personal strength so he can achieve happiness.
I was about to leave but John Wilson, wanted us to go to Steve’s Pizza. I probably would not have went but I thought everyone was going(asked) Super Dave. Told Zero about it and he wanted to go to be apart of the event, he really does his best to troop well. That is why sacrificing for him while hard is not emotionally impossible because he honestly tries his best.
On the the way to Steve’s Pizza Zero told me about this nightmare. He gets dream paralysis at times, I can relate because I use to get it often when I was child. We talked alot about that on the way to the restaurant. I mean honestly, I get hyper vivid dreams where I can’t tell reality when I think I wake up because its no different for me. I should just have a general recap of that by itself as it was another pretty good convo. Honestly as long as its not recorded and or can be put in production me and Zero have pretty ranged and good conversations about philosophy, etc.
We made it to Steve’s Pizza and I had another great experience, the best experience. I got to meet an awesome guy, who I rarely feel on an intuitive is an awesome person. He is also a world talent to me, Robson Pires. Even if he lacked this talent, I would still value his friendship as the most important thing ever. I actually really respect him and think of him. He told me he was going to Dallas to work on his album. I am so happy for him, I will miss him but I am happy for him. Things have been hard but I am refocused and I have some space. So if I make it to where I want to be and Robson needed my help, I would help him easily. He has one spirits I have encountered and I really respect him alot.
That really took my night to the next, level. He invited to a get together so I plan to go meet up with him before leaves. I got to see his family but I did not want to disturb, them at Steve’s.
I got to sit and hang out with the guys from Catalyst. Great guys and having a night out was pretty fun, the talk went to anime and cars, alot. Mainly Dragon Super, yeah….., we discussed its quality and many problems. It was great night, I am thankful I got to spend time them for once when I was in alot overall better state.
John Wilson had me go in to discover there secret sauce at the restaurant lol but it turns out they don’t use olive oil in their food. This is kinda odd because I taste olive oil and so does John, but one of the guys making pizza told me they don’t use olive oil at all in their food. Still the food was pretty good, so no complaints from me.
I didn’t eat alot because I knew I would be staying up to wake Zero for work. So I didn’t want to come down with the Itis. I’m typing this right not to help me pass time as Zero sleeps for work. He slept in the parking lot at Catalyst before but this is that trooper mentality. I mean it can be hard at times but he again tries so hopefully I will be able to wake him up and he enters work on time.
I have a few things to do, like put up a dream I had involving Kosi and Luni with my family, yeah. I’ll probably turn it into a story later, but I wrote the general vibe of the dream out when I had it a few days ago.
I’ll also be recapping my year, and a bunch of other stuff. Really, will help to clear up some miss givings, really tired but its like that line I heard as a boy. “If I can’t do it….. If I can’t do it…. Who else can?”